FALLING IN LOVE with STRANGERS

 

A NON-ROMANTIC EXPERIMENT ABOUT CONNECTING ACROSS DIFFERENCES

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A NON-ROMANTIC EXPERIMENT ABOUT CONNECTING ACROSS DIFFERENCES 🤝

Instructions:

Ask your partner the question. After they answer, have them ask you.

Question 1

Which single one of your possessions would you save from a fire?

Question 2

Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Question 3

Figure out 4 things you and your partner have in common.


Question 4

What are the first few things you think about or do in the morning?

Question 5

What do you think people see when they see you?

Question 6

(you are halfway there)

What’s your greatest accomplishment to date?

Question 7

Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

Question 8

Take 3 minutes to tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

Question 9

What would a “perfect” day include for you?

Question 10

What is something that you like about yourself?

Question 11

Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

Question 12

Share a personal problem you are dealing with and ask your partner’s advice on how they might handle it.

ENDING

Set a timer for 3 minutes (or 2 if you’re a little scared). Look at your partner’s eyes without talking until the timer goes off.

ORIGIN of the PROJECT

Psychologist Arthur Aron (et al.) published a study in 1997 called The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings. For this study, Arthur designed 36 questions to try to make pairs of strangers fall in love in a lab. After reading about this study, I thought that a version of the questions could be used to spark connection between individuals in the campus setting.

My goal is to empower people to connect who might not ordinarily be comfortable reaching out to each other—across demographics and social groups, across different senses of style, different personalities, different interests and different experiences of life. We are each living radically different lives, and yet, connection to others is one of the most powerful things we can experience.

I hope to inspire people to approach each other’s differences with openness, curiosity, excitement, and love.

Thank you to the Bard Center for Civic Engagement and Bard Bees, especially Khadija Ghanizada, for supporting our latest in-person event. Thank you to Subham Manandhar, Rokhila Saidasanova, Ariha Shahed and many others for your incredible help.